Kyoushuu Fshuu!
by Suain
Summary: One-shot. In which Eiji is traumatized, Fuji has far too much fun, Inui is... Inui, and Kaidoh says 'Fshuu' a lot. InuKai.


**Kyoushuu... Fshuu!  
**_One-shot, 1100 words.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai. Rated for imagination (readers imagination, not mine).  
Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi-san owns Tennis no Ohjisama. I own… a pair of green pantyhose.  
Category: Um, humour. At least it's supposed to be humour.  
Pairings: InuiKai, some insignificant Golden Pair and slight FujiEiji._

(am aware the title sounds like one of Davide's bad puns)

I can't believe I wrote this… I'll defend myself by saying; when a GUY asks you to write something like this, you DO it without question.  
I.e it was actually a male friend's idea. Especially the juice thing!

Grammar and spelling are the way they are. I don't have a beta and English is not my first language.

Ok on with it:

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Kikumaru Eiji was trotting along, minding his own business. No seriously, he was! He couldn't very well help getting curious when he saw Inui suddenly grabbing a poor unsuspecting Kaidoh and drag him into the nearby thicket of woods by the scruff of his neck while said sophomore protested wildly…

Could he?

No, Eiji didn't think so. Also, he had a very good reason to follow them. After all, Kaidoh was his cute little kouhai, and Inui was just mean. Eiji would protect little Kaoru-chan from big bad Inui, if needed. Well, he'd try anyway. Inui was kind of big and scary, in a creepy sort of way. Not someone you mess with for kicks. Well unless you're Fuji, of course. The Fuji that was currently tiptoeing closer to the woods into which Inui and Kaidoh had disappeared. Eiji blinked. He then shrugged. Questioning Fuji was a fulltime job, and Eiji didn't like fulltime anythings. He ran over to where Fuji was crouching in the undergrowth.

"Nyah, Fujiko-chan! Did you see what I saw?" His voice sank to a whisper towards the end when he remembered that Inui and Kaidoh could be close by still. Fuji turned, completely unsurprised to see him (well, he was Fuji after all), and smiled even wider than usual.  
"Maa, depends on what you think you saw, doesn't it?" He answered. Eiji pouted at the expected response and was about to reply when Fuji put a finger to his mouth to get him to hush. He gestured towards the thicket and Eiji understood. It was time for some innocent spying.

"Harder senpai!"  
"Now now Kaidoh, slow down. We don't want to overdo this, do we?"  
"Fshuu…"

Eiji and Fuji stopped dead in their tracks. They looked around them, but couldn't see anything. Fuji whispered to Eiji that there was a clearing just ahead of them, and that the voices were coming from that direction. They didn't dare sneak any closer for fear of being seen, so they stayed where they were. Fuji was very disgruntled that they couldn't actually see what was going on in the glade, but as he continued to listen he began to think maybe that was for the best. He didn't want Eiji to get too traumatized after all.

"Senpai…"  
"Hai?"  
"Fshuu…"  
"Nani? Do you want to stop?"  
"No! S-shut up and push. I can take it."

Eiji's eyes widened.

"You know, you are quite adorable when you stutter."  
"FSHUU!"  
"Now I know you want to be a better player, but becoming as agile as Eiji will take time. Besides, Eiji has Oishi helping him with this… Most often anyway."  
"Fshuu, does that really matter. Who's helping you I mean?"  
"Well, I'm not sure actually. It might. Oishi knows how much Eiji can bend in any one direction. That must help."

Eiji blushed furiously.

"You haven't done any calculations on it?"  
"No. I didn't know we were going to do this today."  
"Senpai…"  
"Hai?"  
"We do this every day... Several times."

Eiji bit his fist to keep back a shriek. Fuji looked over to him briefly and his smile got even wider than usual. Eiji's face was as red as his hair, his eyes were the size of saucers and he was gnawing at his fist as if to try and distract himself. By he look of things, it wasn't working.

"It must be done several times everyday for your agility to rise, Kaidoh."  
"Fshuu…"  
"Nani?"  
"I-it's a bit much really, senpai."  
"There you go stuttering again. Ii data."

Eiji was shaking his head furiously while still keeping his hand in his mouth.

"My back hurts."  
"Complaining already Kaidoh? This was your idea, if you recall. And you did say you could take it."  
"Fshuu senpai, I meant I can take it harder, not more often."

A small sound escaped Eiji's mouth and stuffed-in hand.

"Well I don't think I should. We have an important match tomorrow and I don't think we want you too sore for that. Besides, there may be questions if you show up walking funny."  
"FSHUU!"  
"Alright, calm down. I'll push harder. You may want to spread your legs 3 degrees more. According to my calculations it should hurt less."  
"Hai senpai."

Eiji couldn't take it any more. He got up and without looking at Fuji he half walked, half ran back the same way they had gotten there. Fuji now had his own fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. Eiji's escape hadn't been silent, but there was no noise from the clearing indicating that it had been heard by the two currently there. Fuji decided to take a closer look, his ever present camera held ready. He silently crept closer. When he got close enough he quickly let his eyes roam over the small hollow, locating his two team mates. He opened his eyes.

Oh well. He hung his camera around his neck, stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way back out of the forest.

"Did you hear something Kaidoh?"  
"Fshuu, no. Why?"

The sophomore was sitting in front of his senpai, his back turned towards the older boy. His legs were spread in front of him and his senpai was currently pushing at his back to help Kaidoh bend as much as possible. He then tried to stay bent, so to speak. It was more difficult that Kaidoh had first thought it would be. So far Inui had to help him.

"Oh never mind. How is your back?"  
"Better."  
"Good. This warm-up exercise is quite good for this, isn't it? Well, with the few modifications I've made."  
"Hai senpai."  
"I think that's enough for today."  
"Hai senpai."  
"Is that all you're going to say when I helped you out with this, despite my busy schedule?"  
"Fshuu… Thank you senpai."  
"…"  
"Senpai…"  
"Hai, Kaidoh?"  
"Could I have some Inui Juice?"  
"My… You want juice? You usually don't, do you?"

The sophomore stretched his legs a bit then slowly got up and eyed his senpai. With a few steps he had succeeded in pushing Inui up against a lone tree that stood in the middle of the clearing.

"That's because I usually don't get to t-tap it myself, senpai."  
"I do love it when you stutter," Inui whispered breathily as his kouhai sunk to his knees before him.

Fuji walked happily homewards. He hadn't gotten any blackmail material as he had hoped when he followed his two team mates, but he felt cheerful nonetheless. He wondered how Eiji would react if he suggested they do some 'agility training' in the forest tomorrow.

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_The End_

Kyoushuu can mean both training and assault. I thought that was kind of an amusing title (it can mean other things as well) as it rhymes so well with Kaidoh's fshuu.  
I got that translationfrom an online dictionary by the way, so don't trust it completely.

(blushes) I feel like going fshuu myself here. That got kind of crude towards the end. I don't think I underrated it though, did I?

Hope it wasn't too… Um awful, heh.

Review please. I'll be happier than Fuji in a gaybar (snicker).


End file.
